Saturday, June 12, 2010

Schwoops!

I'm drinking a bottle of tonic water, and I just noticed the following warning:

CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE. CAP MAY BLOW OFF CAUSING EYE OR OTHER SERIOUS INJURY. POINT AWAY FROM FACE AND PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHILE OPENING.

This leads me to believe that someone, somewhere, had this happen to them. Someone was twisting the cap off a bottle of tonic water, when the cap, straining like a bronco that had been drinking from an espresso-laced stream, exploded forth as a tiny missile of blindness-inducing plastic. Or perhaps the victim wasn't the person opening the bottle. Image the tragic scene. A young mother, a thirsty child. "Sure, you can have some tonic water." Then, tragedy. Now little Johnny will never play baseball again.

Maybe I'm wrong. The truth is, we may never know what prompted this warning, nor how much gin was involved.