I've decided that anyone who espouses a view that I consider patently absurd is, in fact, a performance artist. Ann Coulter? Performance artist. (This has been suggested before.) That woman who wants to ban cupcakes and force Santa to lose weight? Performance artist. Creationists? The largest performance art troupe in human history.
It's a lot less disconcerting, isn't it? It can even be impressive, like Stephen Colbert writ large (OK, larger).
Oh, and I totally call dibs on credit for coining the insult, "Stop being such a performance artist," or, "What are you? A performance artist?" I mean, I do have to think of my legacy.